Mr. Universe

I have never been a big guy by any means, my metabolism is as fast as a ... well I couldnt think of anything as fast as that because I dont think anything can compare. I can eat a full meal for lunch but by dinner time I will have used everything that I got from lunch to make it to dinner. Like, Nicole Richie I do as well look like a stick but not sick looking. Anyway since the untimely break up I needed to fill some down time. So I joined a Gym. Going in there was the most intimidating feeling I have ever felt. I look around and all I see is ripped gym rats pumping iron like its life or death, and here I am standing ther just trying to gain weight. I started by lifting weights as much as I could, but the more I look around the more intimidated I get. I can barely break a sweat while the guy next to me is probably sweating more than my body weight. Im not in it to win Mr. Universe, I just want to gain weight and not look like my parents only fed me bread and water.

I have been now three days and every day has been easier than the last. I feel so soar the next day but i guess that means that im not wasting my money. I have been drinking protein shakes and trying not too eat soo much junk but rather bannannas and other things that people call "healthy". I'm hoping that I'm not just wasting time and money but it actually serves a purpose. My goal is to put on at least 20 pounds. Hopefully than I can enter the Mr. Universe contest.

Not Shutting the Door

After some time off because.. Well basically I didnt have anything really to write about. Something happend that has changed my life. After 4 years of great companionship I decided to cut ties with my significant other. I had been thinking about this decision for quite sometime. My feelings are being sorted still 5 days, after the aftermath known as our relationship. I won't go into exact detail why I decided to make this decision, but I will leave you with an Idea. I had been going out with M without her parents really knowing what was going on. Your first question might be why in god's name did her parents not know about a courtship of over 4 years? The answer to that my friend is that they( M's Parents) were not particularly fond of my decent. Since I'm of the Indian persuasion they felt that, that alone was not good enough for their daughter. However, M felt differently. We had been caught before and warned not to defy them. By we, I mean M had been warned with threats of monument fashion. **** They have yet to meet me or give me a chance***

Threats that are so severe that M, would be fincancially cut off for the rest of her life if we were found guilty. At 22 she was not in the position to tell her parents the truth, so she lead a double life, constantly lying and decieving her parents. Well after dealing with this for 4 years I felt as though she needed to let her parents know what was going on. So I told her I would like it if she told her parents about our relationship. She hesitated, which I dont blame her for, worried about the consequences she might face. So after months and months of telling her that it would be better for her to tell her parents, rather than us getting caught and than really paying for it. M was left in a quandry. It felt as though she was caught between her parents and me. Don't get me wrong I love the girl, however it seemed as though she needed time to really think about what she really wanted, As do I. M, was talking about seriously settling down sometime in the furture to be able to tell her parents. However, I'm not ready because 1. i have not graduated yet and 2. Im not sure if I really want to make a committment this early in my life without a job etc. I don't blame M one bit if she continues to not tell her parents becuase to loose your parents support both financially and emotionally is a big step.

So although im not ready to fully end things with M, I feel as though we both need to take time apart to see what we both need and want. IF it leads back to us I will definetly not object to getting back together. I dont know how I'm dealing with it right now, but im just trying to take it one day at a time and see where that takes me.

Dorm Watch 2007

I have lived in a dorm room for quite a long time now (2 years) and each year I tell myself OK It's time to go. However, I find myself back in the same room the next semester. This year was supposed to be different. I planned to get myself closer to getting out of school by taking some classes over the summer. Step 2 would be to find a place to live. Originally I had planned on staying one more summer in the dorm and rent an apt or house next fall and celebrate my senior year. Well a friend of mine asked me the other day to live with him this summer and next fall. Immediately i jumped on the offer without remembering that I had already put a down payment on the same dorm room. Now what's the problem you ask? Why can't you just go tell them that something came up and you need to terminate the contract? Easier said than done my friend. It was $150 deposit and basically I won't see that cash again. Telling that to my father is not the thing you want to do. How will I justify that I totally screwed my self as well as him by saying " hey dad guess what you just gave the University money that wasn't necessary". My father is a very complicated individual there are certain ways to deal with him. He hates the way the university deals with the payment system already and to tell a man that he gave them money for no need will just steam him even more. I have a meeting with the dorm area coordinator tom morrow to see if they can help me out .. Stay tuned

1st and 10

A wise person, whom I wont reveal their identity told me to write about something, anything that I can . I have yet to come up with something that has much substance. I can write about myself, which right now is not amusing. The world as I see it, well I really don't see much going on because I dont like politics. However, there is Sports which I base my entire life around. My schedule is set around the happenings of certain teams in the country. I fall asleep to Sportscenter and wake up to Mike& Mike. It's not a passion anymore, but more of an obsession. People have told me that it wont lead to anything. I should focus my attention on things that matter like school, and graduating, but that never seems to work. I constantly find myself trying to procrastinate by checking scores, news or anything that really has to do with sports. My girlfriend once compared it to a crack addiction. She said that If I don't watch it, read it or listen to it I will act "weird" and freek out. Fortunatley I have yet to expierence those symptoms. I don't know where It exactly came from, I didn't know what ESPN was til I got to College because my parents didn't believe in cable. So my sports craze was limited to local television and the newspaper. There are other things that take my time up surprisingly, school which has never been my strong suit, family and friends which at present are about 800 miles away. Other than that Im just your ordinary guy addicted to Crack